Infants Remembered In Silence (IRIS) - Poems

Am I Not A Mother?

By Julie Boyer Smith

Am I a mother?
I remember every moment of those nine long months.
I remember every kick inside me.
I remember the hopes and plans and dreams.
I remember the love.
Yes, I must be a mother!
Yet, now I see an empty crib.
I see all the rattles and toys packed away
in boxes.
I see the booties and sleepers that were
never worn.
I see the emptiness.
Am I still a mother?
I long to hear my baby cry.
I yearn to feel him nursing at my breast.
I think of what could have been but will never be.
I pray but do not understand.
He lived.
He was beautiful.
But now he's with the Lord.
I miss you, Joshua.

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