Infants Remembered In Silence (IRIS) - Stories

Faith

by Susan Teel

On December 14, 1995, our baby girl Faith was born. The day after she was born, we received a telephone call and my husband Chris and I were informed that she had indeed been born and we were to proceed with her adoption. I was told how sick our sweetheart was and we strongly believed that the bond and nurturing that she would receive from us, especially in her first few days of life, would make a difference in her recovery. But we were not allowed to see Faith when she was first born because of the waiting period for adoptive parents. For eight days, our precious one lay in the hospital alone while we ached to hold her, love her and comfort her. The hospital staff was nice, but firm that we could not see her until the waiting period was over in case her birth mother changed her mind.

On the eighth day, we went to the hospital and begged to see her. For a reason known only to them, they finally allowed it. When we walked into the infant ICU area, she was lying there, barely breathing. She was on a respirator but was having difficulties. As soon as I took her hand and started to speak to her, her little chest just pounded. She knew that her Mommie and Daddy were there and how much we loved her in that instant. We were allowed to stay with her for only thirty minutes before the nurses told us we would have to leave. We sat in the waiting room until we could see her again. Within another thirty minutes, our world was torn apart and our lives were shattered. The look on the nurse’s face was all we needed to see. I cannot even remember her words. We just know that she said something about Faith not making it. We were allowed to hold her for a time and then her birth mother graciously allowed us to make arrangements for her. We buried our baby girl, Faith Killingsworth Teel, on Christmas Eve morning.

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