Infants Remembered In Silence (IRIS) - Stories

Bryceson & Averee

Paige Hurst - Mommy

To Bryceson and Averee

Dear Bryceson & Averee,

On September 2014, I found out I was pregnant,I was surprised to find out because your dad & I prayed for a baby for a long time. I wanted to love motherhood and I believe that new life is always a new gift.

On December 29th, 2014 I found out that I was not only having one baby but TWO. Double the trouble and twice the fun. I was so nervous to raise two infants at the same time, twice the everything was a scary thought for me. But I was so excited.

Then the gender reveal. Twin A- was a boy, at that moment your dad walked up to the screen and screamed "yes, that's my boy Bryceson Noah Wayne". Then twin b's turn. At first the woman thought you were a boy...but she was looking at twin a again, because your butts were side by side. At the moment when I knew you were a girl; you were Averee Nevaeh Lynn! I was so happy to get one of each!

One week and one short day later, I went into preterm labor, being only 21 weeks pregnant. When I arrived at the hospital, neither of you had heart beats. That was the most heartbreaking moments of our life. Within minutes of being at the Hospital I held you both on January 7th, 2015 for the first and last time ever. It was one of the saddest, proudest, most heartbreaking, and beautiful moments of my life. It was an honor to hold you.

I'm proud of you. Even though you only made it halfway through the pregnancy, you have left a mark on our family that will last forever. Your heart had just stopped beating; you never took a single breath. You would never have a life outside my body. My womb was your world. But because of you, I love your dad more than ever. Because of you, I feel a stronger connection with him. Although you two never lived outside of me, I just realized how lucky I was to have your dad. At the moment I saw how much he loved you two while he was holding you, it seemed like I just fell in love with him all over again.

Your pregnancy seemed to be the smoothest and most healthy one that I had ever had. I did my best to comfort your dad, but he was stronger than I could ever be. We grieved together, as one. Your sweet Mimi Misty was there with us through every single second. We couldn't have done it without her.

At 7:00 a.m. on Wednesday, January 7th 2015, my first son was born, Bryceson. Then 45 short minutes later I had my first born daughter Averee. Even though there was no life in either of your beautiful bodies, you were full of love, heart, and courage.

Your dad held you, and then it was my turn. I felt both happy and devastated to be holding my first babies in the palm of my hands. We cried. I visualized you running through open fields somewhere, free, happy, and full of life. After a few hours holding you...we knew that it was time to say goodbye.

We never thought at such a young age, or at any age that we would have to bury our children. That was the hardest part, besides losing you.

I know we will never get the chance to see you complete your first steps, your first day of school, or your graduation. We will never get the chance to hear you giggle, or to see your little toes wiggle. We will never get the experience of giving you away to make your own families. But we know that you are living the best of life that you ever could.

You were with us for way too short of a time, but you will be remembered forever. My body aches to know that I will never have you in this life. I long to have your little fingers wrapped around mine. No matter where the road leads us in our life we know that a part of our hearts will forever be in Newcomb cemetery. I want you to know that you are not forgotten in our hearts. You were always loved. I know life would have been different had you stayed. We trust that things have happened as they were meant to.

Our precious Twins... We miss you more than we've ever missed anything. But we know there's a day when we will hold you again. We love you. We will honor you. We will be better people because of you. Every second I breathe you will always be remembered. I carried you for every second of your life and I will love you for every second of mine!

Heaven is so much sweeter with you two there.

Love, Mommy & Daddy.

submitted to IRIS March 2015

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