Infants Remembered In Silence (IRIS) - Poems - On the Day of Your Child's Birth

On the Day of Your Child's Birth

By Rachel Halling

In loving memory of my daughter Louise Bethan Halling who died of sudden infant death on February 5th 1991 at just 2 weeks old.

On the day of your child's birth
You are full of great mirth,
Your life is full of dreams
Or so it seems.
Before you have thought,
Your child has been taught,
You have seen their first day at school,
You’ve seen ballet shoes and tutus,
Bridesmaid’s dresses and gymkhana rosettes.
You have their life all planned;,
The A level exams
Then off to university, graduation and mortarboards
Then not just one job offer, but hoards.
Then comes the wedding, the long flowing dress,
She chooses a husband who’ll be just the best.
You’ve planned the flowers, the marquee, and the food,
You’ve pre-ordered the weather and the mood.
She has left you now but you are the best of friends,
And you know in your heart that relationship won’t ever end.
You’re a grand mother having the best of fun.
It’s her all over again but double the fun
Then you look down into your lap at your very first child,
That baby just born so meek, so mild.
Just moments old don’t wish her life away,
Babies are precious, take it day by day.
All parents do it they can’ t help what they feel.
They have hope in their hearts, a future life suddenly real.
So now I hope you will understand
The life of a baby is more than it seems,
It is their little life, plus your thoughts,
Your hopes, all your dreams.
So when that life is taken away
And other people don’t know what to say,
Or when they say you’ll have another,
Maybe two, a sister and brother.
Inside you want to shout out loud,
I had a child of which I am proud
God took that child away from me
And left me with a hurt no one can see.
But you stay quiet and nod so as not to offend
Then everyone thinks your hurt is at an end.
So forgive me when years later on
To family or friends a new babe is born,
If I find it emotional and hard to cope
With the new Mothers future that’s full of hope.
Its because I am happy but that makes me sad
For life is unfair and things can go bad.
I know more than most,
For my little girl is now just a ghost
Of what should have been,
Of all my hopes, my future, my dream.
And forgive if when Christmas is hard,
When the milestones I've set come and go,
I want to be able to say my Childs name,
To shout it out loud and feel no shame.
I want others to know my child, my descendant
Had a life which was important
Not to be little to say “get over it”
Her memory should be respected
Her name spoken with happiness, with glee
For she gave something very special to me
A great love, a great memory and most importantly
The appreciation of my little family.

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