You Were Meant To Live |
Hope Wood |
In Honor of Zoe Elizabeth Wood & Addie Kate Wood, by J. Hope Wood 5/21/10 |
Life is not as it should be
Blessings still abound God is still God Endless mounds of sorrow Life’s constant companion Reality has been altered Something sacred slipped away Two lifetimes suddenly gone Out of reach, just beyond grasp A grand canyon between our worlds Faces of a family forever altered In need of mending yet unable to see completion Landscape of life suddenly shifted You were meant to live alongside us all To breathe in of earth and all that life was created to be It is not better that you died, you were meant to live It was not a matter of timing or for the best Heaven was not your intended destination yet Death is not God’s heart cry for His creation Life is not as it should be You were meant to live God cries with me He feels the grief as well He allows death yet desires life Such tearing in the fabric of life & family Such cutting grief - down to the marrow Such parting was never meant to be Such grieving not part of His Plan Life cut short not from need for you there Gone not to punish The piercing of life in a fallen world Life is not as it should be You were meant to live I hear the echoes of your voices calling my name I imagine the weight of you in my arms I almost know the softness of your hair beneath my touch I dream of kissing your plump cheeks and the feel of your skin I can envision the twinkle in your eyes Almost hear the sound of your giggles I imagine the delight as you discover new things I almost taste the salt of your tears I dream of rocking you Every song I sing is for you too Every book I read for you as well Every prayer carrying kisses & hugs Every tender word uttered, all the love expressed For all my children, in my arms or only in my heart I stand in awe that I was chosen to carry you Grateful for every moment Every sensation, every movement Every heartbeat heard I know you know my voice still Life is not as it should be You were meant to live Two unique ones, fully human, eternal souls Cute fingers, pudgy toes There will be no replacement w/ the next one No coming back in another rounded belly You graced my womb You now grace the beauty of Heaven You are real, waiting for us You are being held & loved These are my best comforts Life is not as it should be You were meant to live Who were you meant to be? How would you have taken up space in this life? What would have brought you love, laughter, & tears? Your first step, Your first word You vanished, we grasp at shadows How our lives have altered beyond perceiving Our hearts broken with no lasting present repair Forever changed Nothing is the same as it was Colors look different now Fragility & significance of life painfully known Wounds too deep for words Aches a mommy & daddy were never meant to feel A child is a child no matter how long they are w/ us Grief is still grief, the shape of it changing w/ time The healing of all wounds doesn’t happen w/ time Time is not the healer or enemy Time is simply time Life is not what it should be You were meant to live Being your mommy has brought a new me A better person for the affliction New world of awareness New level of expansion Eyes wide open Nothing taken for granted Better only by God’s power thru loss His comforting Hand, saving grace What buried me, what almost took my life as well God used to create a different me, a different family Even so, Life is not what it should ultimately be You were meant to live I imagine our reunion Envision our eternal lives unfolding together I trust in a God good enough to fill all the empty places w/ wholeness Heaven holds new meanings now The promise of knowing you fully, no stage missed What was stolen now will be restored The promise of a God who redeems Who will bring new birth to all that was taken away Reunion of siblings lost to one another oh so long A mother’s heart forever unbroken at last A father’s arms overflowing w/ no child of his missing You were all meant to live Life will one day be what it should be |
© Hope Wood |