What Would He Tell Me… About His First Day of School
By Linda Moffatt 
Ok. I didn’t think it was going to bother be this much. I’ve been saying for weeks that I couldn’t wait till school started to get Scott and Ashley out of my hair. (They couldn’t wait to get me out of theirs, either!)

So, here it is, the eve of the first day of school, and I’m thinking, “What would tomorrow be like if Nicolas were here?” His turn finally comes to stand outside with backpack and new shoes, waiting for the big yellow school bus. Or would he have been the only one of the three who wanted mom to take him to his first day of kindergarten? What would he come home and tell me about his first day of school?

And what about the kids –“his class.” Will I forever look at these kids (and their parents) and wonder “what if?” They don’t even know that they’re missing a classmate.

Here it’s been almost six years and I feel compelled to hand around the school and grab every kindergarten parent I see and say “I would have had a child in this class.” I surprised myself because I don’t usually have those urges anymore.

But this is harder than I thought it would be. Another milestone of life – first day of school – that Nicholas (and I) missed.

The thing is, nobody will think of this. It’s not a birthday, Mother’s Day or Christmas. It goes by unnoticed except by a mother with kids too excited to sleep tonight – one starting 5th grade, one starting 2nd, and one…