Suggestions For Dealing With Grief

Dealing with grief is physically and emotionally draining. While there is no magical formulas for the grieving process, there are ways that you can help yourself. In a sense, they help you to stay healthy so that you can deal with the pain your are feeling.

Talk about your baby and your feelings with your partner, family members, and friends. This is an excellent outlet for releasing bottled-up emotions and tensions. You also set an example for other so they know it is appropriate to still consider your loved one an important part of your life.

Eat a balanced diet that includes milk, meat, vegetables, fruit and whole grains.
Avoid "junk food" and "fatty foods"
Avoid "fast food"

Fluid Intake:
Drink at least 8 - eight oz glasses of water, juice or milk a day. This fluid is needed to wash away body wastes. (keep track of your intake)
Do not drink caffeine beverages or alcohol as it causes dehydration, headaches and may also cause low back pain.

Alcohol and Tobacco:
Avoid tobacco because it depletes the body of vitamins, increases acidity of the stomach, decreases circulation and can cause palpitations (fluttering).
Under alcohol, which is a depressant, you can feel more sad.

Exercise or do something active every day. Walking, biking, jogging, aerobics, or stretching can all be very helpful and help relieve stress. Exercise helps you physically and psychologically. Getting out and moving, even if it is just a walk around the block can be refreshing and reduce stress.

Avoid increased work activity. This is not the time to increase your work hours.
Maintain sleep patterns. You need to rest even if unable to sleep.

Keep a journal, diary or tapes of thoughts, memories, poems etc. These expressions of your feeling and thoughts can help release emotions.
Write letters, notes, and poems to and/or about your baby.
Write your frustrations way. Vent.

Read books, articles, and poems that provide understanding and comfort so you do not feel alone.
Avoid "scare" literature and technical medical publications.

Physical Exam:
Keep all doctor appointments that have been scheduled following the death of your child.
Schedule a physical examination about four months after experiencing a loss to assess your physical health. Your body may demonstrate physical responses to grief.

Big Decisions and Changes:
Don't move or change jobs or relationships. Wait at least 12 months before making these types of changes.
Avoid new or uncertain trips. Coping mechanisms and reflexes are impaired, making judgments difficult.
Don't put away baby cloths until you are ready. There is no rush.
Don't let others make any decisions for you.

Help From Others:
Admit to yourself and family when you need help. This can lessen your pain and loneliness.
If you are not comfortable with the way you are progressing in your grief, seek help. People seek counseling of one kind or another to lessen their pain and loneliness.
Accept help from others. You don't have to do this alone. Let others know what things they can do for you, such as providing food, company, housework, child care or lawn care etc.
Accept whatever they offer even if not requested, as long as it is not harmful to your family.
Allow family and friends to share your grief and let them offer their support.
Try to resume old relationships and start new ones. Your old friends have a history with you and your child, but new friends offer new opportunities and support.

Support Groups:
Attend a support group. Those who have "been there" can give support, help and hope in a way that others cannot and do not understand.

Request help or support from your clergy. They can help you renew your faith and hope.
Resume past spiritual activities